LOSING YOUR THOUGHTS

  What Remembering Your Thoughts Feels Like

Today, I had a presentation at school for spanish. When I got up to present information about myself with my partner, my mind went blank. I couldn't remember how to ask 'Cuándo es tu cumpleaños' which is the question for when is your birthday in spanish. The only things I could remember was Cómo te llamas(what's your name?) and Cómo eres(what are you like?).

Having your brain go blank when everyone is staring at you and your partner is depending on you is embarrassing. Now, I'll feel guilty if my partner gets a bad grade on this presentation. I feel terrible. I know that I tried my hardest but my anxiety got the best of me during that time we spoke to the class.

Losing your thoughts when you are in the middle of something important sucks and once you finish what it is that you are doing, your thoughts are back and all you hear in your brain are words questioning what happened and what you should have done.

I know that I will prove to myself, my teacher, and my peers that I am capable of holding a full and long conversation IN SPANISH the next time that I have to walk to the front of the classroom.

P.S. It turns out that I got an 8/10 on the presentation which is a lot better than I assumed I would get. I guess sometimes the brain just thinks worse things.

Sincerely,

Kenzi Brooke

BELIEVING IN YOURSELF

Life can be quite difficult and challenging. You don't always believe in yourself. At times, life makes you feel like a failure. You feel as if you aren't good at whatever it is that you are doing in that one second. There are two quotes that I adore that happen to relate to this subject that I am writing about.

Believe in yourself and you're halfway there. This quote shows that you may not think that you can do something but if you tell yourself that you can do it and believe that, you will be so close to achieving that goal. It may take awhile to happen hence the 'halfway there' part but it will happen.

One of my favorite quotes of all time is She believed she could so she did. I tend to tell myself this everyday. "I, Kenzi Brooke, can do this." and then I try my hardest and don't stop until I achieve something whether it be a large step or baby step. It is still something and that is all that matters.

I am fully deaf in my right ear but my family didn't find out until I was three years old. As I got older, we discovered that I have Mondini Dysplasia and Large Vestibular Aqueduct Syndrome, also known as LVAS. Mondini Dysplasia is when part of your inner ear has an abnormal hearing loss. There is a lot more to it and I still haven't learned everything about this but I know that it affects me everyday. LVAS is the part of my inner ear that is near my brain and it is the part that detects sounds. Having these two things together is quite scary. I can't do many sports because if a ball hits me in a certain area on my head, I will become fully deaf in both ears. I can't do gymnastics or dance because of all the moving around which makes me extremely dizzy.It affects my balance and I can't ride a bike. The point that I am trying to make by telling you this is that I have tried over and over again to get on a bike and to ride it by myself with no help. It hasn't happened yet and I will not stop trying until I can ride a bike. The last time I tried riding a bike was near the end of summer and I actually vlogged it for my Youtube channel however I took the video down but I will have the video shown in here even though it's a weird three minute video.[Update; Blogger won't allow the video to be put into here for some reason].

A few days before I rode my bike last, I read the quote about believing she could so she did and I decided to try it out. As I climbed onto the bike that was in my garage, I told myself out loud that I could do it.

"I can do this."

"I can ride a bike."

"I, Kenzi Brooke, can do this."

The whole time I kept repeating those words, encouraging myself and I believed in myself. Before I stopped for the day, I was able to stay on the bike while riding it for a few seconds. It wasn't a long time that I was able to stay on it but that isn't the point. The point is that I did it even if it was for barely ten seconds. I accomplished something and I am proud of that.


If you are having a tough time in life and don't feel as if you believe in yourself, look in that mirror and look at your pretty self. Tell yourself that you can do it. Shout at the mirror saying that you can do it. The moment that you look in your mirror and truly see yourself, you are already halfway to where you want to be.

With love,

Kenzi Brooke

TRAVEL BUCKET LIST

I dream of being able to travel around the world one day. Here are some of the places I want to go. This will most likely be updated often as I find new places and/or explore them. To see every single thing on my bucket list, find me on Pinterest. [The ones that have a * on it means I have completed that dream].

My Travel Bucket List

1. Visit Anne Frank's house
2. Sleep in an overwater bungalow in Bora Bora
3. Visit a black sand beach*
4. Spend time volunteering in Africa
5. Visit Iceland
6. Go to Madagascar
7. Drive the Atlantic Ocean road
8. See the Eiffel Tower
9. See the northern lights.
10. Visit the full house home in San Francisco*
11. Visit the winter palace
12. Visit Australia zoo
13. Go on a roadtrip to Disneyland*
14. Live in France
15. Move to Seattle
16. Visit Tennessee
17. Eat a croissant at a bakery in Paris
18. Visit a nutelleria
19. Eat belgian waffles in Belgium
20. Shop in New York city
21. Go on a safari(cruelty free)
22. Go on a food adventure in Paris
23. Ride a subway in New York
24. Camp out in a tropical rainforest
25. Go on a road trip to Canada
26. Visit Palm Springs*
27. Ride a water taxi in Venice
28. Go to Hawaii*
29. Visit the hidden beach at Marieta Islands
30. Go to Thailand
31. Travel around Australia
32. Explore the Grand Canyon
33. Go to Venice, Italy
34. Visit Niagara Falls
35. Visit the original starbucks in Seattle
36. Go to Alaska
37. 'Hold up' the leaning tower of pisa
38. Visit Amsterdam
39. Go to Bora Bora
40. Visit the glowworm caves in New Zealand
41. Ice skate in central park
42. Go on the skydeck in Chicago
43. Visit a tropical rainforest
44. Go to times square
45. Go into an airport and buy tickets for a random flight
46. Go to Greece
47. Go to London
48. See the Fairy Pools in Scotland
49. Add a lock to the Love Lock Bridge in Paris
50. Go on a cruise
51. Throw a dart at a map and travel to wherever it lands
52. Ride the London Eye
53. Visit the 9/11 memorial
54. See the Hollywood sign*
55. Visit Crystal Caves, Iceland
56. Visit Lake Bennett, Canada
57. Go to Pink Geyser, Iceland
58. See the Aurora moonset in Alaska
59. Go to Lake Huron in Michigan
60. Visit East of Cottage Grove, Oregon
61. See the Heaven Gate Mountain in China
62. Go to University of Washington in Seattle
63. See the glowing firefly squid in Toyama, Japan
64. Visit Piedmont Park, Midtown Atlanta
65. See the Hanakapi'ai Falls cave in Na Pali Coast, Kauai, Hawaii
66. Go to Liquid Light, South Africa
67. Hike to the mountain waterfall in Trentino, Italy
68. See the morning mist in Tuscany, Italy
69. Visit the cave of Melody in Scotland
70. See the Peter Island in Falcon's Nest
71. Visit Glass beach, California
72. See the elephant rock sculpture in India
73. Go to Honfleur, Normandy, France
74. Visit Havana, Cuba
75. See the Crooked Forest in Poland
76. Visit the Un Joli Cafe Mistral in France
77. Go to Valbonne, France
78. Visit the set of Friends
79. Go to Rome, Italy
80. Go to Positano, Italy
81. Visit Capetown, South Africa
82. Go to Hollywood Studios*
83. Visit Disneyworld in Florida
84. See what life is like in Texas
85. Go to Disneyland Tokyo
86. Go on a HWY 1 road trip in Big Sur, California
87. Visit the Lava pool in Maderia, Portugal
88. Go on a mission trip to Mexico
89. See the crooked house of windsor in England
90. Travel around Notting Hill, London
91. Visit Howth, Dublin, Ireland
92. Ride and feed an elephant at a cruelty free place
93. See the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco*
94. Go to LA*
95. Drive on the Pacific Highway
96. Visit McWay Falls, Big Sur, California
97. Go inside the Muir Woods in San Francisco
98. Visit the sea of stars on Vaadhoo Island in the Maldives
99. Climb up the Haiku Stairs in Hawaii
100. Look at the pebbles at the Pebble Shore Lake in Glacier National Park, Montana
101. Go to Portofino, Italy
102. Go to Mexico

HOW TO BE POSITIVE

I don't know about you guys but I have always had a hard time staying positive with everything that has and will happen in my life. I try my hardest to be happy with the life that I live and know that I can do anything through Christ who gives me strength but that doesn't mean that it isn't tough. 

I believe that positivity is the key to the world.  I think that if everyone were to be a little more positive, Earth could be a better place. Like I said before, I know that it is hard to be positive which is why I have some tips that may be able to help keep smiles upon faces with no tears being shown.

WAYS TO BE POSITIVE

• Find happy things during a negative situation.

• Positive thoughts lead to positive actions.

• Live in the moment.

• Love yourself.

• Love others.

• Focus on what you want.

• Believe in yourself.

• Smile.

• Don't let the little things get to you.

• Don't confuse quitting with letting go.

• If you aren't having a good day, make a good day.

• Remember that you are in the present and not in the past or future.

• Face yours fears.

• Share yours feelings. Don't bottle them up.

• Write down positive things.

• Listen to upbeat, happy music.

• Do things you love not things you hate.

• Let go of grudges.

• Dream big.

• Don't compare yourself to others.

• Accept what you can't change.

• Be realistic as you won't become down in the dumps if something doesn't happen.

• Have positive people around you not negative people.

I hope this list of ways to be positive helps give you a new mindset. I am still learning all of these ways and it is definitely hard to always be positive but be as positive as you can each day. Remember that when things get tough, you have people around that love and care for you.